the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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