Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
