I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
