She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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