i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
