how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
