You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
