The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
