Swine flu is the new snow day.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
