Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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