Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
