It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize