We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
