Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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