He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
