Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
