you would pick up someone in the library
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
