I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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