did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
