It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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