6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
