Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
only you would photoshop your dick
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
