We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
