Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I supernannyed him into submission
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
