trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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