"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
do nipples grow back?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
