Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
