Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
They have beer where we have blood.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
