I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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