your thong is hanging out like whoa
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
