pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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