I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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