Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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