yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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