She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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