I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
