the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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