16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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