Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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