So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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