My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
