Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize