i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
