pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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