i can't believe i had my finger in that
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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