We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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