I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
