so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
