It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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