imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So here I am, sexting at work.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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